I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize