I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
