I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
