my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
