I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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