After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
