you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
