No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
