Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
