Rock
Scissors
Fuck
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
