Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
