i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
