More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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