We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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