is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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