I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize