all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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