There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize