Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
