they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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