I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
His hands were made for my vagina.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
