My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
