im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
