No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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