The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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