Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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