What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
