so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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