Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
