I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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