Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
