so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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