Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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