I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
