I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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