Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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