Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
