Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
