Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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