i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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