Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
