He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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