every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We need a shit load of segways right now
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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