she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
