i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
