When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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