He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
