Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we made out on top of his cat.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
