I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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