dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
