with your own penis?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize