if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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