i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
