At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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