so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
