im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
