I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I AM VODKA MAN
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
