as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
