Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
