There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
