oh god the rape fog is back!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have aggressive nipples.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
