On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
