when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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