bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize