i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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