You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
