Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
