Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
