So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
