O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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