I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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