Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
