white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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