What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
